Wesley Goes Shopping!
by gopie
Summary: Exactly as the title says. Short entries of Wesley shopping! Early season Wes.
1. Chapter 1

Entry #1

"So, are you the top or bottom?"

"Excuse me?" Wesley asked.

"You know, the shackler, or shackled?" the clerk said, pointing to all the chains and shackles that Wesley was purchasing.

"Oh, this isn't..." Wesley started to say, but then stopped. He was going to say that this was just for a safety precaution in case Angel goes all evil on them again, but he couldn't exactly explain that to the man.

Instead, he smiled at the clerk and said "Well, Angel does need to be strapped down every now and then, especially when he's been naughty."


	2. Chapter 2

Entry #2

"I don't know why we can't just get them special ordered weekly or something." Wesley mumbled to himself as he parked his motorcycle.

He entered the butcher shop and went to the back of the queue. A few seconds later, a woman entered and joined behind him.

"Do you cook?" the woman asked.

Realising after a beat that she was talking to him, Wesley turned around to face her. "Well, um… no, not really. I'm here for a friend." He said.

"Oh." She said. "I'm Janie, by the way." She held out her hand.

Wesley nervously took it and said "W-Wesley."

Janie gave a small laugh as they shook hands and said "_You_ are _so_ cute. I'd like to see you again, get to know you better. Maybe over dinner?"

Wesley gulped. "You want to have dinner? With _me_?" He squeaked.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" she said flirtatiously.

"Well, I…"

Suddenly, the owner interrupted them. "Mr. Wyndam-Price. Ten bags of pig's blood as usual?"

Wesley turned to face him for a second to nod. Then he turned back to the woman to continue their conversation and found that she had turned a bit pale.

"Janie? Are you ok? You're looking a bit unwell." Wesley asked worriedly.

She turned her eyes at him and said "Oh, me? Uh, I just remembered that I have to be somewhere, like, right now. Sorry, it was nice meeting you." She turned to leave and Wesley, perplexed, called out to her.

"Are we still on?"

She stopped by the door and turned to look at him "Um, you know what? I just… remembered that I was a lesbian. Hah. Yeah, bummer. Silly me, don't you think? Forgetting – that I – was… Um, well… gotta go, can't keep my girlfriend waiting – so – we can – do – gay… stuff." She waved goodbye to him and left.

Wesley was confused at what just happened and still was as he paid the owner and went outside with his order. Well, he thought, this is just something to ask Cordelia about.


	3. Chapter 3

Entry #3

Megan pushed her shopping cart along aisle 6, not one she would go through frequently, but it was the fastest shortcut to the cashiers. As she walked on, she saw something drop out of the pocket of the man a few feet in front of her. She called out to him but it seemed that he didn't hear her as he kept on going further away. She didn't want to shout louder so as to not to attract any unwanted attention so she walked faster to pick up whatever it was. It seemed that he was heading for the cashiers also so she'd just meet him there.

When she came up to the item, she saw that it was a piece of paper – no doubt the man's shopping list. Just as she was picking it up to return it to him, she accidentally saw what it contained, and stopped in her tracks. It was a shopping list, as she initially thought, but not really what you would expect. Again she read what was written just to make sure she read it right:

milk

tea leaves

pig's blood (x10 bags)

arrows (short) x30

tissue paper

stain removal

Peia'dorne sacrificial dagger – from 'Elmo'

spit of Gashugnii demon

AA batteries

She looked at the man who was already checking out at the cashiers.

Maybe, she thought, she does need that extra detergent after all. She left the paper on the floor, and casually turned to find it at the other end of the store.


	4. Chapter 4

Entry #4

"Are you sure?" Wesley looked at the full length mirror and eyed himself critically.

"Yes, it looks great. Very dark and mysterious. Girls will be swooning all over you." The salesgirl said.

"But…" Wesley pulled uncomfortably at the leather trousers again and said, "It chafes."

"Oh, don't worry; it's supposed to do that. Once you break into it, it'll feel so comfortable, like a second skin." She said enthusiastically.

Wesley still looked skeptical but finally he said, "Well, I suppose. I'll take it."

The salesgirl smiled widely at him and asked, "Will that be cash or credit?"

"Cash, please."

"Okie-dokie." She went to the register and keyed in his purchases. Wesley took out his wallet and paid her.

"Thank you. Please come again for all your leather goodness." She said as she gave him his receipt. He smiled as he took it from her.

After he left, the salesgirl sighed then grinned as she shook her head.

"Sucker. Least he had a cute ass."


	5. Chapter 5

Entry #5

The bell above the door jingled as Wesley entered the tiny knick-knacks shop. He had been curious about it ever since he'd seen it and now he finally had a chance to see what it contained. The shop smelled was old and musky, kind of like what you would expect an old woman's cottage to be like.

Wesley explored the various items on the shelves – novelty toys from the 70's, old phonograph records, unwanted clothes, the cursed statue of Rha'erteu… Ah, a pez candy dispenser! Now that brings back memories!

In the end, Wesley purchased himself a motorcycle helmet – thank god! He can finally stop using the pink one the bike came with – a book on DIY plumbing and a nice looking paperweight for the office.

When Wesley left the shop, he couldn't help but feel that he missed something, something very important. He had his wallet in his pocket so that wasn't it, he had all his purchases. Then what… Oh dear lord! The Rha'erteu statue!

Wesley turned around quickly to retrieve the statue but as soon as he was close enough to the door, the shop was enveloped in a blinding white light and in an instant the whole building disappeared, leaving nothing in its place but an empty block.

As Wesley got up from where he fell, he blinked a few times to clear his vision. Once he got his bearings, he tried to think of what to do. Well, he thought, the shop will come back… eventually. It's not like Khzar was such a terrible dimension; maybe the shopkeeper will even bring back a few souvenirs?

Wesley sighed, knowing he had to do something, and went to his bike. As he made his way to the office, he silently hoped that Angel didn't mind giant talking bananas.


	6. Chapter 6

Entry #6

As Wesley made his way through the store, he tried to recall back on his conversation with Cordelia that brought him here.

"Why do I have to do it?" Wesley asked.

"Because, Angel can't go out during the day and I have an audition I have to go to. This is easy even for you." Cordelia said.

"Why can't we do this later?"

She answered, "Because, smarty-pants, the demon might have moved on from then. Just go."

So now here he was in MegaMall walking through the stretch of shelves in the store for the demon-possessed… Furby doll.

When Wesley stopped in front of the variety of Furbys, he tried to remember the description of the possessed one. It was the only one with green and red eyes, a bit of red on its ear, and – "Oh, sorry" Wesley said as he let a woman pass – eyebrows that were slightly more arched than the others… Wesley turned to look back at the woman and her cart's contents – which is exactly what she has!

Wesley walked up to her and lightly tapped her shoulder. "Um, excuse me miss. This might sound unusual to you but I really need that Furby doll that you have there. I feel like I have, uh... connection with it. Maybe you can take a different one, please?"

The woman looked at him and curtly said "No." Then she started walking away. Wesley panicked, knowing that if he didn't succeed, people will be in danger. Therefore, convincing himself that desperate times lead to desperate measures, he ran towards the woman and snatched the doll from her trolley as he past, hearing her cry of surprise and anger. As he ran, the doll's features shifted and it started talking in a squeaky voice.

"Hahaha. Be my friend. We can stay together… FOREVER. I WILL DEVOUR YOUR PITIFUL SOUL, MORTAL FOOL, AND DECORATE MY FORTRESS WITH YOUR BLEEDING ENTRAILS."

Wesley stopped running and threw the doll down. He splashed water from a vial onto it and took out an amulet. He held it up and chanted, "Ra'atu com diez. Vor hama di abacus fi darbela. I command you, begone demon! I vanquish you from this plane! Disappear and never return!"

Nothing flashy happened but Wesley knew that the demon had now gone. As he looked up, he suddenly realised that everyone was staring at him like as if he was crazy. One woman passed by him, covering her child's ears while whispering "don't look at the crazy man, dear". Wesley cleared his throat and tried to explain, "Um, it was…acting funny."

A man came up to him and said, "Don't worry, man. I don't like those furry things either. It's the eyes, I tell you. They follow you around; it's freaky."

"Yes, quite." Wesley answered. The man walked away and the crowd started to disperse.

A sales guy walked up to Wesley and stood beside him. They both looked at the wet Furby doll before he said, "You're gonna have to pay for that, you know."

"Yes, well." Wesley said. "I've been meaning to get Cordelia a gift."


	7. Chapter 7

**Entry #7**

Okay, Wesley. You can do this. Get in, take what you want, and get out. There's nothing to it; piece of cake, really. Just don't listen to those soul-sucking leech demons; whatever you do, don't listen…

Wesley took a huge breath of air, and finally, braved the jungle.

-------

"Cordelia, did you just send Wesley out to get the coffee-maker?"

"Yes."

"By himself."

"Um-hm."

"In the mall?"

"What's your point, Angel?"

"…with salespeople."

"…"

-------

He was in hell. And the demons just couldn't wait to get their hands on him.

"Sir, can I interest you in a-"

"I'm just looking for-"

"This is our finest line-up-"

"Sorry, but-"

"If you buy one, you can get the other for-"

"I'm really not-"

"Wait until you see our-"

"Oh, dear…"

"You wouldn't believe the prices of these things-"

"help…"

"Glad to help you, sir! I know exactly what you need…"

-------

It was almost six by the time Wesley returned back to the office. Cordelia looked up from her computer and smiled widely, although she did eye his bags of purchases warily – emphasis on _bags_.

Angel came out of the office, took the bags from him and put them on the desk, receiving a breathless thank you as Wesley took a seat on the couch. Angel and Cordelia shared a glance before turning back to look at him.

Cordelia asked, "So, Wes. Did you get the coffee-maker?"

Wesley groaned. He looked up at them and said as innocently as he could, "Well, you see, funny story there. Talk about it over waffles? I just happened to purchase one…"


End file.
